Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes.

For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

When a buddy is trying to hook you up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of getting laid either.