- Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
- Microsoft's next ad campaign: "Sympathy for the Devil"
- The highest Steve Guttenberg has counted is 234, although he could probably reach 1000 if he tried.
- No, I'm not suggesting anything - I'm TELLING you.
- We don't want the television script good. We want it Tuesday.
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