I think I have a good grasp on what positivity religion brings into people's lives. I believe it gives people comfort, that it provides guidance, a kind of compass to navigate the difficulties of life. I think it truly fulfills and enriches people's lives in a way that I don't think I'll ever know. I feel like I instead get that fulfillment and enrichment from my wife, my kids, my family, and my friends, so I've never felt like anything was missing from my life. Maybe there is and I'm just blissfully unaware of it. I really don't think so, however.

I think the experiences we have as children are extremely impactful on the belief systems we carry into adulthood (if any). Sure enough, I don't recall my parents imparting any kind of religious importance on me (or, if they did, it certainly didn't take). We celebrated Easter and Christmas every year without fail, but neither holiday was celebrated in a way that had anything to do with Jesus; Easter was a candy-loving day where we might go on an Easter egg hunt, while Christmas was all about the tree, the lights, family gatherings and, most importantly to me as a kid, the presents. I don't remember ever having a nativity scene, a little baby Jesus, any kind of Advent calendar/candles, etc. We certainly never observed lent, said grace before dinners, prayed before bed, or attended church with any regularity. Religion basically didn't exist in my childhood.

I live a life that any devout Christian would be comfortable describing as blessed. I was fortunate to be born in the United States as a white male to good parents that cared very deeply for me. I was lucky enough to find someone that I got along with and eventually started a family with. My wife and I have been together for over half of our lives, have four smart, healthy kids, and a wonderful, supportive extended family on both her side and mine. We've seen some setbacks, but nothing we've been unable to overcome, often with the help and support from family, friends, and each other.

Some might see this as evidence that a higher power has been granting us His blessings as we've gone along, that He has put in motion the events that have led to our success, that He saw to it to give me these blessings to ensure a happy life, that He knew Anna and I would get along and raise some very smart and healthy kids. I have to admit that I kind of wish otherwise, but I've never felt like anyone was pulling the strings, "moving the chess pieces" as it were, or felt like we've been the recipients of some otherwise unexplainable fortune. None of the setbacks nor their solutions have ever once felt "divine."

I worry in a couple of key ways about "coming out" as an atheist.

Firstly, I don't judge you or your beliefs. I know that atheists can be seen as being condescending and/or disrespectful to theists, but that's something I wholly wish to avoid. About religion in general, I can only say "to each their own." You're free to believe whatever you want; I really don't care. I couldn't care any less if you regularly go to church, say grace before meals, pray five times per day, wear special clothing as mandated by your faith, or even call yourself a Pastafarian. Your experiences through life certainly differ from mine and, as I've explained, I've not had anything point me towards faith, at least not yet. If you have, fantastic! I'm happy for you. As long as you find fulfillment, enjoyment, spiritual value, or some other positive vibe from it, knock yourself out. I do have an issue when one's private beliefs start to infringe upon the freedoms of others; don't be a dillhole and use religion as an excuse to subjugate, judge, attack, or discriminate against others, and you're probably OK in my book (which shouldn't matter to you – you do you). I just ask that you understand that I'm probably going to be disinterested if you try to get me to join your flock. If I spout on for 40 minutes about how great the programming language Perl has been for me over the years, how much enjoyment I've gotten out of it, etc., at a certain point, I'd understand if you started to tune me out; that's what disinterested people naturally do. If you are devout in your belief, I commend you, not condemn you. I admire you, not pity you.

Secondly, I sincerely hope it doesn't offend. This post has been in the making for quite a long time. It's a very difficult thing for me to talk about because I am genuinely fearful of what impact this might have on friends/family and what their reaction might be. I think the overwhelming majority of folks just flatly don't care, and truthfully, I really think that's the way it ought to be. However, I think I have a really good idea how important religious beliefs are to folks and I worry greatly that me saying anything along these lines could be very hurtful, perhaps even as a betrayal of the trust they've invested in me. I really don't know what I can do to mitigate that risk, however. I am who I am, though, and I think I'm being more true to myself by getting this out in the open; it feels good.

Perhaps I should say what atheism isn't.

• Atheism is not satanism
  If an atheist doesn't believe in Chrstianity's good guy, why the hell would they believe in the bad guy?

• Atheism is not a religion
  As I noted earlier, my feelings on this have changed. I've heard it said that if atheism is a religion, then off is a TV channel, not collecting stamps is a hobby, and abstinence is a sexual position.

• Atheism is not an absence of morality
  One could make the case that only atheists are truly moral. I mean, if you behave morally solely to be rewarded for your good behavior in the afterlife or out of a wish to avoid punishment, is that really being moral?

• Atheism is not widely accepted
  There has been a measured shift away from established religion in the United States, however the notion that the United States is suddenly a completely secular nation is just inaccurate. In fact, there are still laws on the books in some states that bar atheists from holding elected office. In some respects, same-sex marriage is more protected than a freedom from religion despite the First Amendment.

• Atheism is not born from a lack of humility
  I don't claim to know all the answers, not by a long shot. To be an atheist is to say "I don't know." I don't know if there is a god. I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know how the universe popped into existence. I don't know how life began. Yet, if you're a person of faith, I'd wager that you feel you do know the answers to these questions thanks to your religion. So, what's more humble: accepting your own ignorance to some truly important questions, or claiming you know the answers to those questions without any real evidence?