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Monday, June 23rd, 2008
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Joke Posted at 02:14:30 AM CDT
I Love Mustard
Submitted by February 7, 2005 edition of BrentButler.com Jokes

If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did on my tongue. Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"

Recorded at 06:17:08 PM CDT
My Pictures on TV
Our local NBC affiliate, WHO-TV 13, aired my two panoramic photos of the Raccoon River that I submitted. Ed Wilson is the weather guy that butchers my name twice, and calls me a "backward-thinker." Nice guy.
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