He is rather surprised that such a looker would be waving to him; she looks familiar, but he can't place her, so he walks up to her and says, "Sorry, do we know each other?"

She smiles and replies, "I may be mistaken, but I just thought you might be the father of one of my children?"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Christ!" he says, "are you that stripper on my stag night that I banged on the snooker table in front of all my friends whilst your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery?"

"Uhh, no," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher."