When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly service agent told him that the printer probably only needed a thorough cleaning. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by the man's candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business!?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Blog Entry Posted at 10:53:46 PM CST
Chef Leaves "South Park"
Say it ain't so!
Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park' By ERIN CARLSON Associated Press Writer Tue Mar 14, 9:20 AM ET
Isaac Hayes has quit "South Park," where he voices Chef, saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.
Hayes, who has played the ladies' man/school cook in the animated Comedy Central satire since 1997, said in a statement Monday that he feels a line has been crossed.
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.
"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."
"South Park" co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."
Last November, "South Park" targeted the Church of Scientology and its celebrity followers, including actors Tom Cruise and John Travolta, in a top-rated episode called "Trapped in the Closet." In the episode, Stan, one of the show's four mischievous fourth graders, is hailed as a reluctant savior by Scientology leaders, while a cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out.
Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."
As a "South Park" fan, I was pretty shocked when I heard this. But, it sparked a conversation at work as to what Trey Parker and Matt Stone will do with Chef. He's too important to have him just disappear. We joked that someone like James Earl Jones should replace Hayes. Not only should they replace the voice actor, but change how Chef looks, keeping all the same clothes and whatnot.
"Trapped in the Closet" was a hilarious episode. In it, the mysteries of Scientology are explained.
President:
You see, Stan, there is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed. [leans in] An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu.
Xenu:
Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
President:
Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, [Xenu gives his orders] and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, [the roundup is shown] and then had those aliens frozen. [one by one, the aliens are frozen]
Xenu:
[laughing over his plan] Wa ha ha ha!
President:
The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, to Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. [a shot of the frozen aliens encased in ice being dropped from the orange cruisers] The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this.
Xenu:
Wa ha ha ha!
President:
Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! [the soul-catchers are shown] The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had ALSO built on Earth. [the souls are watching a movie screen with 3D glasses] There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material [Egyptian gods, Jesus carrying the Cross, and a bronze Buddha statue are shown] which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they can grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems. [Stan looks at the president, a bit awed] L. Ron Hubbard did an amazing thing telling the world this incredible truth. Now all we're asking you to do... [hands Stan a pen and some paper] is pick up where he left off.
Stan:
But I don't know any of this stuff.
President:
Neither did L. Ron when he started. He said he just closed his eyes, and wrote down whatever came to mind. You can do the same. Just let it flow.
That, by the way, was taken from this page on SPScriptorium.com. A quick visit to SouthParkStudios.com shows that Comedy Central will be airing this episode tomorrow at 9 PM and 11 PM Central. Be sure to tune in and enjoy!
