I've quoted Keith Olbermann here before and discussed how SpongeBob is now apparently gay. He played the video in question in full on his program and as an introduction to that, he stated, "If the folks at Focus on the Family are right, it could make you, your children or maybe your furniture gay. Or tolerant." As you can imagine, the folks that truly believe that the yellow sponge from Bikini Bottom is a homosexual didn't appreciate that sarcastic jab. Nonetheless, good ole Keith has happily provided some insights on the e-mails he's received in response to that story. This epic battle shall continue! As it appears here, here's Mr. Olbermann's latest entry to his show's website, countdown.msnbc.com. Some vacation this is (Keith Olbermann) PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA-- There are going to be a lot of mixed cultural references in here. Sue me, I'm on vacation.SpongeBob SquarePants has made me think of Mickey Mantle, and Godfather III (I still want my eight bucks back, Mr. Coppola). Like Al Pacino's character in the latter, I keep getting pulled back in. Last week we reported on that enormously silly speech of a Dr. James Dobson of a group called Focus On The Family, in which he warned a largely congressional audience that a new video featuring the SpongeBob was being used by a "pro-homosexual" group. This 21st Century of the infamous Tinky-Winky controversy emerged from a simple set of facts. A DVD featuring a video created by another group, "We Are Family Foundation," used dozens of top kids' characters, and was being sent to thousands of elementary schools to promote tolerance on all levels. But the teachers' booklet included with the video included three passing mentions of what to do if kids asked about atypical families, ranging from one-parent homes, to children living with their grandparents, to families with same-sex parents or couples. The answer in the booklet was, simply, to remind kids that all families are different, but all are based on love. The video itself-- which we showed on Countdown-- contains not a single reference to sexuality (and only about four clips of SpongeBob-- heck, the Count from Sesame Street stole the damn picture). And the advice to the teachers seemed pretty logical (as opposed to telling a seven-year old that his best friend and his two Mommies were all going to Hell). That didn't stop Dr. Dobson from approaching the video, and its producers, and SpongeBob, as if they were the warm-up act for the Apocalypse. Before airing the video (which should have been criticized for being a little long-- where are the protest groups for that issue?), I jokingly warned that if Dr. Dobson's group was right, the video could turn you or your kids or your furniture gay. Or tolerant. The spam e-mails began coming in Tuesday night. They were pretty routine, damning me to eternal fires and reminding me what they "did" to Dan Rather and how I'd be next. But they were generated from Dobson's own website, which of course negates their impact, and as a result a lot of them were downright hilarious. Something approaching 20 percent of them were simply blank. Others began with, or consisted entirely of, the preamble "(Please delete these words and type your own message here.)" Others referred to Dr. Dobson as Dr. Dobsin, Dr. Dobsen, or Mr. Dobbins. Many were cut-and-paste repetitions of one another, and about 20 percent were from false e-mail addresses. One particularly useful one included the actual instructions on the Website as to how to conduct the campaign, which I reproduce here in full:
"Action AlertSet the Media Straight on SpongeBob Urge them to stop distorting Dr. Dobson's words Hundreds of media outlets in recent days have vastly distorted comments made by Dr. James Dobson designed to warn parents of efforts to promote homosexuality to their children through the schools. Dr. Dobson has been mocked for saying that a group calling itself the We Are Family Foundation is using a video on "tolerance" -- one which features popular cartoon characters like SpongeBob SquarePants -- to potentially teach children that homosexuality is the moral and biological equivalent to heterosexuality. Instead of reporting those concerns accurately, though, reporters have twisted the story to say Dr. Dobson has suggested SpongeBob is gay. Among the greatest offenders in the media: --New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, who sarcastically wrote Dr. Dobson had done "the country a service be reminding us to watch out for the dark side of lovable but malleable sponges." --Today show anchor Matt Lauer, who suggested that "Focus has made a mistake and really doesn't want to apologize for it." --MSNBC.com columnist Michael Ventre, who called Christians "creepy, rigid, arrogant, cruel, know-it-all, pompous, obnoxious and treacherous -- better know by the acronym CRACKPOT." He added: "They are giving Jesus Christ a bad name." --Crossfire host James Carville, who said: "How stupid am I? I thought these (tolerance and diversity) were actual virtues." --MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann, who said: "If the folks at Focus on the Family are right, it could make you, your children or maybe your furniture gay. Or tolerant." Still, that wasn't the best of them. One harangue went on at length and then concluded thusly: "In addition, do you miss doing sports for Sports Center? I am a huge Oklahoma State Cowboys fan and love to catch up on the world of Sports with their show."Mickey Mantle used to joke that when he died, he'd go to Heaven to meet his maker and his sins would be read out at great length, after which he'd hear, "Sorry, Mick, you can't stay here. You'll have to go to the other place. But, before you go, could you sign a dozen baseballs for me?" Now I know how he felt. |