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Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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Joke Posted at 09:26:56 AM CDT
Who's Your Daddy!?
Submitted by My Mom

No, seriously, my mom sent this to me.

On my son's first birthday, I figured this was an appropriate joke... kind of. Well, maybe not. Here we go anyway.

The following are all replies that California women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's name and personal details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, it takes the prize.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Blog Entry Posted at 09:35:35 AM CDT
E-mail to Sinclair-Owned KDSM
To whom it may concern:

E-mail to Sinclair-Owned KDSM (24.99 KB)
I've lived in Des Moines all my life and have never been a frequent viewer of your station. The main reason for that has been the poor picture and sound quality. For example, I only landed on your station a couple of times over the last couple of nights when you've carried the ALCS and NLCS games. It baffled me just how much better the same games looked (and sounded, even with the voice-over) via ESPN's SportsCenter. It's sad to me that a second-hand broadcast blows yours out of the water.

Recently however, my unspoken boycott of sorts of your station has had nothing to do with the quality of your broadcasts, but more the potential content.

As I'm sure you're painfully aware, your owner, Sinclair Broadcast Group, Inc. has decided to air the reportedly anti-Kerry documentary Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal. This is very troubling to me. Frankly, my political affiliation has no bearing on this opinion; I would feel the same way if your ownership decided to air Fahrenheit 9/11. All media outlets, not just TV stations, are supposed to be middle-of-the-road, fair, and unbiased. This documentary sounds like it is anything but.

Please reinstate my faith in my fellow central Iowan and refuse to air this political propaganda. If it comes up that something would be aired to allow for equal time, please refuse that as well. Let records and the candidates speak for themselves, not some fanatical group hell-bent on either getting or keeping a candidate out of office.
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