One day I was playing basketball and Mr. Caruso told me I would have to get an athletic supporter.

Of course, he didn't say it quite that way. What he said was, "Hey, you, one day you're gonna go up for a rebound and the family jewels aren't gonna go with ya."

I had no clue what he was talking about. The next day I showed up for practice without my watch, though.

"Hey, you, did ya take care of the family jewels," Mr. Caruso asked me."

"Yeah. I left 'em in my locker."

It took about 30 minutes to revive Mr. Caruso...