Brotha Steve writes and tells me this is a true story.

Recently I was in a restaurant having breakfast. A woman came in and said she needed to get a "to-go order."

She said she was in a hurry because she had to get online and talk . . . "to her AOL friends." (She actually said those very words.)

She then ordered eggs, potatoes, and toast. When asked if she wanted bacon, she replied, "No, I don't eat pork. But I would like a double order or sausages, please."