POPE SICK OF PRAYING FOR PEACE "WHY BOTHER, THE PLANET'S FUCKED ANYWAY," SAYS PONTIFF

Vatican City- After over twenty years of wishing for world peace at the start of each new year, Pope John Paul II significantly downgraded his 2003 message to "let's just hope we get through this year without some gigantic nuke fest."

In a televised address live from St. Paul's Cathedral, the Pope reminded followers that "when I wish for world peace every year I fucking mean it, but man's innate penchant for death and destruction seem to win out every time. I mean, why bother," asked the leader of the Holy See. "The planet's fucked anyway."

While insisting that a true hope for lasting world peace still remains, the Pope admitted that he was "tired of seeing his New Year's wish getting pissed on by countless conflicts, civil wars, and acts of genocide" and would instead "now wish for something feasible like a Champions League win for Juventus, a rebound in the stock market, or 10% more M&M's in every pack."

Never at any time has the highest papal authority dared give such a stark and honest take on the state of world affairs and many Church observers wonder why the Pope has decided to make such a radical break from his more traditional speeches.

"Well, it may be that in his last years he's simply decided to shoot from the hip," says RAI Uno journalist and Vatican specialist Giuseppi Torino. "Of course, on the other hand it may just be that he's gone completely senile. Yeah, let's be honest, that's probably it."