I'm sending this despite the fact that 56% of the people that receive these jokes in e-mail are AOL members. I still think it's hilarious.

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AOL Time Warner's Steve Case is stepping down as Chairman in May 2003. He addressed the AOL Time Warner Board of Directors early last Monday.

"The official reason I'm stepping down is so someone better able to direct the company beyond the initial steps of the merger between our great companies.

"However, the real reason is this: I'm about to lose my fucking mind having to deal with 35,000,000 AOLiens.

"Sweet Jesus, can you imagine the horror? They're everywhere! There's almost as many of those dumb bastards as there are AOL CDs.

"Have you see the new AOL 8.0 ads? We're touting 'hundreds of new features.' Yeah, new features like being able to sort your email by sender. Good Lord, what email program on the planet can't already do that? And has been able to do it for 20 years? Or, there's this line: 'AOL's Parental Control will let you set time limits on your children's computer time.' For crying out loud, why not go into the kids' room and tell 'em to get off the fucking computer?

"And then, at the end of the ads, we put our URL on the screen! AOL.COM! We have to put it there, for one thing, because the only people stupid enough to actually think sorting the from line on in your in-box and Parental Controls are features are too stupid to remember Eh Oh El for the ten seconds it takes 'em to pick up the phone!

"But wait a minute. Anyone who's already on line won't bother going there! Why would they need us to 'Go To Google -- The Best Search Engine On The Planet'? They can already get there without having to give us a dime! No one already on line is going to bother going to that URL. The idiots we're trying to convince AOL 8.0 is a good deal aren't on the Internet. What good is a URL going to do them? It's like running a television ad selling color TVs to someone who only has a black and white one!

"I can't do it any more. I'm not a stupid man. But I can't deal with these people any more.

"And the Justice Department! They keep calling me up in the middle of the night and whispering, 'You've Got Jail!

"So, it's with complete and utter relief that I leave all this crap to someone else. Good luck. You're going to need it."