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Monday, December 16th, 2002
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Joke Posted at 12:00:00 AM CST
Public Service Announcement for the Holidays
With the holidays quickly approaching, it's time for a Public Service Announcement about drinking:

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
- Indubitably
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Proliferation
- Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
- Specificity
- "Cogito ergo sum."
- British Constitution
- Passive-aggressive disorder
- loquacious
- transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible to Say When You're Drunk:
- Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
- Nope, no more booze for me!
- Sorry, but you're not really my type.
- Good evening, Officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
- Oh, I just couldn't -- no one wants to hear me sing!

Joke Posted at 12:00:01 AM CST
Quick Thinking
Having snuck out with that REAL cute Britney Spears look-alike that was at the party, Jim was astonished to wake up and find it was three in the morning.

"Oh my God, my wife's gonna kill me!"

Trying to figure out what to do, inspiration struck.

He dashed out to the nearest pay phone, dialed my home number quickly, and breathlessly, said, "Hon! Don't pay the ransom!!! I escaped!!!"

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