A young couple were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly bruiser, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right and don't forget it," said the husband. "I'm the man in this family."

With that, she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

He said, "Hell, I can't get into your pants."

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until your damn attitude changes!"

Last Saturday night I was bored out of my mind while in Irvine, California, so I decided to see what I could see. I found myself on the "strip" outside of Huntington Beach when a car pulled up next to me with the words "Just Married" soaped on their windows.

We were sitting at a red light that obviously was going to stay red for the rest of our natural lives. So, I rolled down my window and offered congrats to the lucky couple. The light was still red so after a few minutes of chatting with 'em, I got out of my car, handed the lady a $20 bill and said, "Breakfast is on me, congratulations." I also handed 'em my business card.

She was a pretty girl and they were both very pleasant AND that damned light was still red, so I asked if I could kiss the bride. They said, "What the hell," so I smooched her cheek and got back into my car.

As we STILL waited for that light to change, I found out they'd gotten married some eight hours prior and they'd left their reception two hours ago. I hollered over to the groom, "Man, take that woman to bed, for crying out loud."

The poor guy looked almost confused. As the light FINALLY turned green, I hollered over, "My phone number's on that card. If you don't know what to do, just give me a buzz and I'll come over and show ya."

And you folks thought the spirit of volunteerism was dead in this country. I'm telling you, I'm leading the way...

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was just being the Ring Bear!"

You will receive a message every four hours today. So far, you've received two jokes about weddings; later you'll receive one more, plus two about honeymoons. Tomorrow's joke is also about honeymoons. For some reason those are just easier to find...

The wedding begins at 2 PM. I will be unavailable until Tuesday. All of the website will be up and running during that time... or should be. If you feel like getting me a wedding gift, have people sign up for jokes in droves; they'll be added automatically.

I hope you all enjoy these jokes.

Keep checking www.brentbutler.com for wedding pictures.

Thanks for reading,
Brent Butler

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

...they stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.