Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.