Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of The Brady Bunch.

Ask whether the third chapter will be covered in the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

Sing your questions and speak in ryhmes.

Wear sunglasses untii the teacher questions you. Then explain that you can't find your seeing eye dog.

When the professor calls attendance, after each name scream, "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."

Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Susie Chen.

Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".

Stare continually at the professor's crotch. Occasionally lick your lips.

Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking. Next day greet him in the hall and offer gum or a mint.

Always ask whether you have to come to class for the next lecture.

Watch the professor through a magnifying glass.

Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.