If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to avoid saying these:

"Sure you'll get your figure back -- we'll just search 1985 where you left it."

"How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"

"What's the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."

"Hey, when you're finished puking in there, get me a beer, willya?"

"Yo, Fatass! You're blocking the TV!"

"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"

"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

"Got milk?"

"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."