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Wednesday, May 2nd, 2001
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Joke Posted at 01:00:00 AM CDT
Jesus/Elvis Simularities
Submitted by jpharr@msn.com

-Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
-Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

-Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
-Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

-Jesus was part of the Trinity.
-Elvis' first band was a trio.

-Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
-Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

-Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
-Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

-Jesus was resurrected.
-Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

-Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
-Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

-Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
-Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

-Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
-Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

-Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
-Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

-"[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)
-Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

-Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
-Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

-Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
-Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

-Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
-Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

-Jesus was the lamb of God.
-Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

-Jesus' Father is everywhere.
-Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

-Jesus was a carpenter.
-Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

-Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
-Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

-Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
-Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

-No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
-No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

-Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
-Elvis' face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.

-Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
-Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

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